Little Blond Munchkin Love of My Life

Today is my last regular babysitting day with my little man, Clyde. Those of you who know me know that Thursdays have been the highlight of my week for the past year because of him. In honor of our final day together, I made him a book (he loves books). It won't look nearly so nice or well-organized on blogger, but I'm sharing it here anyway.

Thursdays with Clyde and Phoebe

Every Thursday for a year,

Clyde's friend Phoebe would appear,

Ready for a day of fun,

In the rain or in the sun.

In the park were many things -

Clyde's favorites were the swings.

"Little push, little push, big push!" he'd cry,

And after the pushes he'd go "So high!"

Slides to slide down and tires to climb,

There was never enough time,

To do all the things Clyde loved so much,

Like sniffing roses, puddle jumping and such.

Clyde was fond of things with wheels -

Fire trucks had the most appeal

So they'd walk (they'd never drive),

To see Tower 1 and Engine 5.

Lights went on and sirens wailed,

While trusty Sparky's watch prevailed.

Those trucks were big - they were not tiny,

And their wheels were always shiny.

Then Phoebe would say, "Hold my hand!"

And Clyde would reach up just as planned,

And they'd head home to eat their lunch,

Getting messy as they'd munch.

After nap it was time to venture,

Back outside for more adventure,

Looking at flowers all around town,

And stepping "Up!" and stepping "Down!"

On their walks they loved to play

With their shadows on sunny days.

When shade came, shadows would hide,

And Clyde would say, "Where's Phoebe and Clyde?"

Often they would walk some more,

To the library or bookstore.

They would sit and read together,

In sunny or in rainy weather.

At the library, Clyde liked best

The "Oops! Book" and "Froggy Gets Dressed".

But at the bookstore he'd request

"Yummy Yucky" and "No no Yes yes".

Then at the end of each Thursday,

After lots of fun and play,

Phoebe had to say "goodbye"

And head back to her home nearby.

So Clyde would from the window stand,

As Phoebe smiled and waved her hand,

And Clyde waved back each afternoon,

Knowing they'd play again very soon.

MNF Quote of the Week

"You know how good this game is? We haven't even mentioned Jessica Simpson!"

Reason Not to Take a Nap on a Quilted Pillowcase

No Words

I thought perhaps if I slept on it, I'd have words to write this morning, but I'm still at a loss.

Yesterday two of my dearest friends in the world became parents of a little baby girl, and I became an honorary Aunt. I am beside myself with happiness for this new family and apparently my happiness leaves me speechless.

Welcome to the world, Baby M.

To Bling or Not To Bling

Yesterday I got the official offer for my new job, which included a start date (September 22) and a salary. The salary isn't huge but it's definitely decent by social work standards, and anything is going to feel like a lot after having no income for the past two years.

Today I had to run some errands that required that I go to a mall where there is both a Gap outlet and an Ann Taylor outlet. Naturally, I had to stop into both and see what kind of deals they had for some new work clothes. Though I don't have the income to purchase a lot of new clothes now, I definitely felt that I could justify a few new things - especially a new "first day of work" outfit (thank you, H, for putting that idea into my head!).

Sitting around tonight watching the Sox game, I found myself online browsing jewelry on craigslist (I accidentally clicked on the "craigslist" tab and then decided I should click on something I had never clicked on before, which is how I got to "jewelry"). Most of the pieces listed were entirely forgettable. But this one caught my eye:

It wasn't the gold band that did it for me (I'm more of a white-gold/platinum gal myself), but the setting. It's interesting. It's different. And according to the post, the diamonds were hand-cut by the seller's grandfather in Kentucky. That's pretty cool. 

However, despite using the change in my employment status to justify my clothing shopping spree earlier in the day, I did not use that same logic on the ring. I determined that only if my salary were 3-4x larger could I justify purchasing celebratory bling, and so the ring remains online. My two pairs of new pants and three new tops, on the other hand, are hanging happily in my closet.

Left at the Altar

An appropriate comparison, given that I spent last weekend at a wedding, only to return and find I (along with all other New England fans) had been left at the altar. Thank you, Sports Guy.

The "Left at the Altar Loss," when you're waiting for months and months for the season to start (like planning a wedding), then you have your fantasy drafts (the bachelor party), then you have the rehearsal dinner the night before (making your starting fantasy lineups, making your bets, figuring out which games you'll watch Sunday), then you go to the church for the actual wedding (getting in front of the TV for the 1 p.m. ET games)... and as you're standing on the altar, you find out your bride either changed her mind or got run over by the limo driver. That was me and every other Patriots fan Sunday -- we had our tuxedos on, we were ready to go, and suddenly we were sitting in a waiting room in a hot tuxedo waiting for medical updates on our comatose fiancee and halfheartedly trying to talk ourselves into one of the bridesmaids.

California Trip - Photo of the Day - Day 4

Tea with Cletus.

California Trip - Photo of the Day - Day 3

This photo requires no caption.

California Trip - Photo of the Day - Day 2

What makes those Canadian children so much more advanced than ours?

California Trip - Photo of the Day - Day 1

Tim whips up a little lunch.

Two Things

1. Cakewrecks is my new favorite blog.

2. When I return from my 10-day end-of-summer vacation, I will have a job waiting for me. Today my bus choice became clear, and I have no question that this is the path I am supposed to be on right now in my life. I am giddy with excitement about this opportunity, and I promise more details later, but right now I'm headed out west to celebrate.

Interview Update

Both interviews went well yesterday, and I have a 2nd interview with hospice today during C's nap (his mom will be home - don't worry - I'm not leaving a 2-year-old home alone napping while I go out to a job interview!). I am hopeful that I will also get a 2nd interview at the hospital job, which is definitely my first choice. 

The very wise, never-updates-his-blog-but-he's-still-a-good-person Burger said he hopes that I might have my choice of busses, and I like that image.

Thank you all for the well-wishes from across the country and across the globe. It is nice to walk into an interview feeling so supported.

Stay tuned...

Hmmm.

I'm not sure what kind of sign it is that when I left my interview this morning at a hospice organization I got stuck in traffic waiting for a funeral procession to pass...

Bits and Pieces

1. Two job interviews tomorrow (2 different jobs). Both are jobs I'm qualified for and that I'd love to have, so please send happy, non-tongue-tied-interview-answer thoughts my way at 10:30am EST and 4pm EST. Thankyouverymuch.

2. Anyone have any hints for straightening out a strand of pearls? I want to wear them for the wedding I'm in next month, but they look like they've been stuffed in a box (they have). I'm hanging them on a hook right now, hoping that gravity can help, but seeing as pearls aren't all that heavy, the hanging doesn't seem to be making much of a difference.

3. I'm reading again! Finished Dan Brown's Deception Point a few weeks ago, and am now reading Eats, Shoots and Leaves and Freakonomics.  Any and all recommendations welcome.

A Summer Story

When I was eleven, I went to summer camp for the second summer. There was a girl there named Amy who was a few years older and had a kind of junior counselor role at camp. She had a beautiful smile and the kind of personality that lit up a room. She was incredibly talented musically and would often sing or play piano with a small group of younger girls all gathered around, singing with her.

On one such day we all gathered around her at the piano to sing. We happily belted out song after song until it was time to leave. As we all headed to lunch, Amy pulled  me aside. I was nervous about being singled out and was concerned I had done something wrong.  

"I just wanted to tell you that you have a beautiful voice," she said to me, "so keep singing." I remember just staring up at her, my idol, the young woman I wanted so much to be like someday, and being completely at a loss for words. I had always liked to sing - it had always been a part of my life - but this person was telling me that I was good at it and was encouraging me to make sure to nurture that talent. 

A feeling washed over me - a feeling I had never felt before. I was so honored and proud to hear those words of encouragement from her, and yet also somewhat overwhelmed. At a time when I was starting to feel the awkward insecurities of my pre-teen years, those words meant so much to me, and I found myself getting choked up from the emotion of it all.

I walked back towards my friends with tears streaming down my cheeks. They saw my tears and asked with concern why I was crying, and I shrugged because I didn't know. They asked if I was sad, and I found myself laughing through my tears and telling them that I was pretty sure I was crying because I was happy. 

I never saw Amy again after that summer. And I never became a professional singer. But I did carry with me the memory of how significant it was to be reminded of talents and strengths that I didn't even know existed.

This morning I received an email appreciating me for my honesty and caring and willingness to speak and act openly when many others do not. These are traits that are so a part of me that, like singing, I forget sometimes that they are strengths. The email spoke of the beauty that comes from making oneself vulnerable and the rewards that can come from being open to possibility, and as I read it I found myself full of that same mysterious feeling I felt 19 summers ago, with tears in my eyes and joy in my heart. Full of gratitude for all that is good in this world, and for the people who help me remember to appreciate it all, I share this with you now:

Still Waiting for that Bus...

No luck on the job front, so the hunt continues... This weekend will be spent researching and applying for jobs, as well as studying for my licensing exam. 

Not much else to report, so I'll leave you all with a question:

At what point in a relationship with a new person should one share one's blog? Assume that as the relationship develops, it is a close and trusting one. Follow-up question: Is the answer different if it a romantic relationship vs. a platonic one? 

The "Big Dig" Nears Completion

Though I could pretend that the reason I haven't been updating this blog is because I've been so focused on my "Big Dig" project, the real reason is that I've been traveling and working so much that I'm rarely in front of my computer enough to check email, much less write about my adventures.

A few quick updates:

1. No word on the job yet, but they have told me they're hoping to make a decision early this coming week. I have also applied to a few other jobs, so I'm not just waiting around for this one (but still, keep your fingers crossed).

2. After 3 looooong weeks, C is back in my life. I had no idea how much our Thursdays together meant to me until he was gone on vacation. I have been with this kiddo every week for nearly a year now, and we were both absolutely giddy to see each other on Thursday after so much time apart. I didn't stop smiling all day. 

3. The "Big Dig" is nearing completion, after multiple phases of progress:

Phase I (June 2008): Fibby sorts through all of her clothing and shoes, putting some aside to donate and saving others.

Phase II (7/11-7/12): Bed and air conditioner are moved with the help of LTB members. All other furniture moved by Fibby.

Phase III (7/17-7/21): Fibby goes on vacation to Maine. Just before going on vacation, she realizes that her new roommate (the one who is moving into Fibby's old room) is arriving on the 22nd).

Phase IV (7/21): Fibby arrives back in Boston at 1pm and throws all items from the floor of her old room to the floor of her new room. Fibby and Roommate (not the new one) spend the next 7 hours steam cleaning carpets in 3 rooms and 2 staircases. One of these rooms is Fibby's study, which means that the explosion of books, papers, and junk that has been accumulating for the past 6-12 months must be picked up off the floor. All of the above-mentioned items are re-located to the dining room floor until the rug in the study dries.

Phase V (7/26): Fibby follows her self-imposed rule and sorts through every box and bag and envelope on her floor, rather than just shoving it all under the bed. This takes all day. And night. Much trash and recycling is accumulated. Dusting takes place.

Phase VI (7/27): Fibby moves the "Big Dig" to the study, where another day is spent sorting, storing, and throwing away. Clutter is transformed into order with the help of storage bins and tupperware containers. Much trash and recycling is accumulated. Serious dusting takes place. Sneezing takes place.

No photos yet, because I am waiting until I put things on the walls, but let me tell you that this is the best gift to myself I think I've ever had. 

     Total number of trash bags full of donated clothes & shoes: 3

     Total number of trash bags filled: 4.5

     Total number of trash cans filled: 2

     Total number of boxes filled with paper to be recycled: 3

This post is dedicated to two of my former SF roommates, whose ability to sort and purge inspired me throughout this adventure.

Weekend Adventures

This past weekend was the first weekend that I did not travel in well over a month (perhaps two?), and I made the most of it.

Friday night found me at the Lizard Lounge watching the Laura Thomas Band and The Grift. I managed to rally a good number of friends to go including some college friends, a grad school friend, and a former camper (actually "counselor trainee" but "camper" is a more universally understood term). Fun reunions and conversations were had all around. Also included in the Friday night festivities was the most awesome wingman job ever. Plus - because I hosted the LTB at my house on Friday evening, I got in free. Awesome.

Saturday morning found the LTB members and GT playing on the futuristic playground in my neighborhood. Entirely stress-free and entirely fun.

Saturday night I attended the Sox game with my aunt. Not only was it a great game, but we had phenomenal seats.

Not the view from our seats:

The view from our seats:

We also invented "kettlejacks" which involved kettle corn and peanuts (for eating purposes, we did remove the shells, but it made for a funnier photo with the shells on).

The game was short, and I was home by 10:30pm, which seemed to me to be a reasonable time to move lots of heavy furniture. The big, strong men of the LTB had assisted me in moving my bed and my A/C unit, but there was a dresser and many shelves to be moved as well. It wasn't until all the furniture had been moved that I remembered that my landlady's bedroom is directly below my old bedroom. Apparently she is a deep sleeper, because I didn't hear any complaints the next day.

Yesterday I continued the moving and sorting and dumping and put new bedding on my bed. I also managed to whack my knee against the corner of my bed three times before giving up and padding the corner with with bubble wrap and packing tape. I then drove all around the greater Boston area returning unwanted bedding to the stores. No photos of the new room yet, but I'll get one up soon. Bottom line is it has heat and floor space and it's nicer and more organized than any room I've ever had.

I finished off the weekend with a first date last night that was not the result of an eharmony match. And though it's a little early to tell for sure, he seems like I guy I'd like to continue to get to know - the kind of guy who wouldn't stop for red lights.

No word on the job yet, though they are checking references. Thanks to all who gave advice/input. Still not sure what I'll say if they offer me the job, but I'm trusting that I'll know what to do if/when that situation arises.

Considerations

So I have now had two job interviews for the position I blogged about last week. This job is at an organization about whose mission I am extremely passionate. It would allow me to provide support to grieving family members and would also give me the opportunity to create my own projects based on my interests. The benefits are great, and the team I would work for seems wonderful.

A drawback to this position is that all of the support that I would be providing would be over the phone. It is also a position that does not require a masters degree, and therefore as much as it would be challenging on some levels (especially if I could create my own projects), it might not be challenging enough or different enough from past jobs and experiences for me to feel like it is an upward step rather than a sideways step professionally.

I keep going over and over this in my head, and I can't tell if I'm trying to talk myself out of the position or into it. The truth is that I was really excited about this position when I saw it posted online. In fact, was the first position I had seen that got me excited since not getting the fellowship. My excitement decreased a bit after my initial phone screening interview when I was told that the position was all phone support, but I still wanted to interview. Since then, I have found an equal number of positive aspects to the job (great supervisor and coworkers, mission about which I'm passionate, interesting job, starts at the right time, good benefits) and negative (lack of other MSWs means lack of on-site social work support and potentially lack of supervision, all phone support means no face-to-face interactions, perhaps not making the most of my new degree) and am just not sure what to do if I get offered the job.

In speaking with a friend last night, she reminded me that if it doesn't feel right, then it probably isn't right and that I need to trust my gut. But my gut seems to be rather confused about how it's feeling, so what do I do? Do I take this job, knowing it's in a field I'm excited about and doing work with a population I'd like to be working with, even though the work isn't exactly the kind of work I want to be doing? Do I pass it up, and then hope that there's a better fit in the future, knowing that there's a good chance that I might end up working further outside my field of interest due to lack of job opportunities doing what I want to do? Is there even a

Bargaining Power

I'm not very good at bargaining. In fact, I'd say for the most part I avoid it when possible. I never try to bargain while shopping, and have recently told a friend that he's going to have to buy my next car for me because he's so good at it, and I'm just not. Historically, I have never tried all that hard to negotiate a higher salary. In some situations, it had to do with not feeling confident enough in my skills to feel I was worth more, and in some situations, it had to do with not wanting to hear someone say "no" and feel they were refusing my value as a human being, rather than my work value.  

Today I had my first job interview since the slew of fellowship interviews I had in April/May. I found the job posting online last week and it was the first posting I had seen since starting to look that I actually got excited about. So I updated my resume and cover letter (hadn't written a cover letter since 2002!) and sent it in.

A week later, I found myself squeezing in an interview between two babysitting gigs (thank goodness the woman's schedule was relatively open). As the last time I had applied for a job (a "real" job, anyway) was in 2002, I realized just before walking in that this is the first interview I've had where I've been totally confident in my skills to do the job. It made me much more confident and willing to say things that I would not have said 6 years ago.

For example, after the woman told me more about the job (including the fact that none of the other employees with the same position have masters degrees), she looked at my salary requirements. 

"Oh," she said, "I see you've put down X for a salary requirement. Did Sue tell you that the salary is actually a bit lower than that?"

"Yes," said I, "I am wondering, though, if the salary that you are offering is factoring in my MSW?"

So of course the salary wasn't factoring in my degree, and the woman tried to point out that an MSW was not a requirement for this position. She then tried to argue that I didn't have any experience as an MSW, and I countered that my two years of internships were absolutely MSW experience. 

I didn't make a big stink about the salary or my experience, but I did stand up for myself in a matter-of-fact, I-know-what-I'm-worth kind of way (well, as much as a social worker can do that - of course we're (almost) all worth way more than we'll ever get paid).

I left feeling good about the interview, and confident in my professional skills and abilities in a way I haven't felt in a long time. 

Graduate school tuition: $49K

Confidence in your professional knowledge, skills and practice: Priceless