Bad Blogger

I know, I know. I've been a bad, bad blogger. 

I could say that there's been nothing to blog about, but after blogging every day for the month of November, we all know that even blogging about nothing is more interesting than no blogging.

So I'm sorry to the three readers who are left out there. I'll try to do better in July.

In the meantime I'll catch you up on my life...

Work:

June was a really difficult month for me at work. Many people think that the worst part of my job is having to deal with death. Though that's true sometimes, there are other parts that can be just as bad. This past month we've had multiple patients admitted after being home. This means that they were sent home seemingly healthy and then admitted later for some reason or another. That isn't the worst part. The worst part is that after being admitted, they end up being diagnosed with chronic and debilitating conditions that are a huge shock to their families. I've witnessed so many families being told this kind of horrible, devastating news this past month and truthfully, it's been exhausting. I still love my job and wouldn't want to be anywhere else, but there have been fewer rewarding moments recently. Here's hoping that July brings many more feel-good moments.

Dating:

It isn't that I haven't been online. I have. And it isn't that I haven't received ridiculous emails from boys who can't compose a sentence. I have. And I'm sure there will be another post somewhere in the future to share more ridiculous emails. But for now I'm trying to focus on actually going on dates, and that has proven harder than I had originally thought. Turns out, lots of the guys who write to me are looking for penpals and notsomuch actual dates. I, on the other hand, am looking for dates. So there's a bit of disconnect there.

Also, what I've realized over the past few months as I've really come into my own in my work is that I'm really happy with where I am in my life. This isn't to say that I don't want to find someone to be my life-long partner in crime, but I'm not in a place where I feel like I need that person, and that feels very healthy to me. So it's not that I've lost my enthusiasm for looking for a significant other, but I guess I've lost some of the urgency.

Life:

I've really been focusing on self-care in this professionally trying month, and it's been paying off. I have managed to reconnect with a few old friends and get to know some new ones. I hosted a mini camp reunion last week the day that camp opened and helped a friend paint her new bedroom this past weekend. These connections also help me to feel whole and healthy and it has been wonderful for me to have new energy around my formerly-stagnant social life.

So that pretty much catches you all up on the happenings of Fibby. Thanks again to the few hearty readers who are still out there. I'll try to post more often next month.

A Gem

I swear, people, I couldn't make these things up if I tried.

Message in my online dating inbox this am:

Subject: I apologize ahead of time...

... because you honestly sound very very sweet!! But you may have the absolute worst taste in music that I have ever ever heard!!(other than rap fans). Please don't be offended. That was the entire message. I am entirely bewildered by why anyone would bother to write and send such a message. If you're not interested in someone, just don't write. And if you are interested, isn't it a pretty well-known rule not to insult them in your first message?!?!

Scooper Bowl Wednesday

This week the Jimmy Fund hosted its annual Scooper Bowl fundraiser - essentially, all-you-can-eat ice cream for $8. Unlike last year, the weather was not exactly the kind that made me crave ice cream. Then again, the ice cream didn't turn to soup, so I guess that was a plus.

This year, I sampled 17 flavors (once again, not full cups each time). Many were similar to last year and none were particularly outstanding. If I had to choose, I think Maine Lobster Tracks might win as my favorite with its "unique eclair crunch whirl", but the artificially red "lobster colored chocolate cups filled with a thick caramel" were pretty gross. 

27th Annual Jimmy Fund Scooper Bowl Vendors:

Baskin-Robbins®

• *Cotton Candy
• *Rock 'n Pop Swirl
• *York® Peppermint Pattie
• *Premium Churned Light Raspberry Chip

Ben & Jerry's

• Orange & Cream
• *Oatmeal Cookie Chunk
• *Chocolate Macadamia
• *Goodbye Yellow Brickle Road

Breyers®

• *Vanilla
• *Coffee
• *Cherry Vanilla
• *Cookies & Cream

Brigham's® Ice Cream

• Vanilla
• Chocolate
• *Confetti & Cream
• Black Raspberry Frozen Yogurt

Edy's®

• Coffee
• *Take the Cake
• Mint Chocolate Chip
• Low Fat Caramel Praline Crunch Frozen Yogurt

Garelick Farms/Gifford’s®

• Chocolate
• Old Fashioned Vanilla
• Mint Chocolate Chip Yogurt
• *Maine Lobster Tracks

Häagen-Dazs®

• *Zesty Lemon Sorbet
• Chocolate
• *Bailey's® Irish Cream
• Vanilla Honey Bee

HP Hood®

• New England Lighthouse Coffee
• Cookie Dough Delight
• Fenway Fudge
• Maine Blueberry & Sweet Cream Frozen Yogurt

Spasso

• Amaretto gelato
• Dulce de Leche gelato
• Chocolate gelato
• Chocolate Chip gelato
• Crema Café gelato
• Lemon sorbet
• Coconut sorbet
• Mango gelato
• Raspberry gelato
• Zabaglione gelato
• *Ginger gelato

The Good

Some people have suggested that I was harsh in my last post... that I may have been quick to judge people who may be good matches for me, but who just don't happen to have good spelling or grammar skills.

But here's the thing: the way I see it, an online dating profile is essentially a job application of sorts - and, like a resume, it is responsible for first impressions. If I meet a guy at a bar I can base my first impression on his personality and looks and "je ne sais quoi", but when I "meet" someone online all I have to base my first impression on is his profile. If a guy can't be bothered to write more than three sentences to describe himself or to spell-check (especially after reading in my profile that that's something I value in a potential match), then I'm going to assume that he isn't all that serious about dating, which means that he is not going to be a good match for me.

Think I've set the bar impossibly high? Wondering what a good online response look like? It looks like this:

I'd like to think that I'm pretty well edumacated and am not a terabul speler. I'm a bit of a grammar dork myself. Am prone to the occasional mishap of a poorly constructed sentence with a dangling participle. ;)

or this...

If your interest is piqued, by all means...give me a shout back. And I think you have every right to be a grammar nerd. If people can't write 'you' in a message...what is the world coming to??? 

or this...

I just had to comment on your well-organized and laid out profile. It is very rare to see that on dating sites. People can't seem to spell or write well. Don't worry...I won't call you a nerd. Anyway, you sound like an interesting person. Write back if you'd like.

Ok, so those three all happen to have the theme of embracing and/or appreciating my nerdiness. But I guess that's kind of what I want from a potential date - a guy who reads through my profile, likes my quirkiness, and then takes the time to write and tell me so. Those are the guys who get a response from me. 

Of course, there are still always going to be the weirdos...

I am a sensitive guy who can help you heal from any emotional wounds you experienced growing up as a child. This is what usually bonds a couple because the other person opens doors that imprisoned them psychologically.

The adventure continues...

New Online Site: not so gr8

I recently joined yet another online dating site, which has proven to be a great source of entertainment for me in the past week.

In the first few days after I joined, I received such charming messages as these*:

Hi how r u?? I read your profile and would love to get to know you. Wanna get to know me???

hey whats up i like to chat wit u some more hit me back if ud like to talk

These messages (and many others like them) made me cringe, so I eventually added this to the bottom of my profile:

You Should Message Me If...

... my profile looks interesting to you and you think we might hit it off.

... you're looking for something more serious than a casual relationship.

... you can successfully and consistently type the full word "you" (instead of "u") when you write to me (yup - I'm a grammar nerd).

One might think that such clear instructions might solve my problems, but alas...

why dont u answer me :(

hmmmm… let me think…

Subject: but 'you' requires more effert than 'u'

I have bad hands thats why i write 'u' sometimes. Hope you can forgive me.

(Scores points for creativity, but... no.)

Hellooo....

I'm Chris

and you...r ADORABLE :)

(Not sure if that's supposed to be "you" "r" or "you're" but either way Chris, I can't bring myself to respond.)

And there are other spelling issues too:

Please be spontanious, passionet, happy, and an overall good person.

(self-explanatory)

I am looking for someone that I would be attracted too that is fun and outgoing.

(Subtle error, but still…)

I am a 40 year old teacher/coach with impeccable grammer, haha. Anyways, you seem nice and I'd like to talk more if you would.

(Ummmm... Coach? Your "grammer" might be fine, but your spelling, notsomuch.)

Then there are the punctuation (or lack thereof) issues...

Hi.i don't know why.I keep looking at you pic..

you look interesting?

see you soon.

(Perhaps the most creatively punctuated message I've ever received.)

hey whats i like your profile alot and was wondering if you would like to talk sometime if your interested let me know talk to you later bye

(easily the least punctuated message I've ever received)

Or the combination disaster messages:

I know what you mean. And its funny, Ive thought of abreviations; like "U" instead of you. And Ive' thought, maybe if your really trying to meet someone. For a lasting relationship. Using the word "you" is more well appropriate. If your in a chat room talking to whoever-whoever? thats ok:) Just funny that u mentioned that. I wonder if other guys are as enlightened about that?....probubly not like u said.

( silence )

Or just the really strange messages:

TOPIC ONE,TOPIC TWO,TOPIC THREE

Ok, Here are three sincere and fun topics for you from a true future friend and entertaining person in your neighborhood .... Massachusetts.

I will give you three interesting topics quickly ....

TOPIC ONE: I wrote this poem to a beautiful woman on here today because her profile gave me these feelings.

Feelings Of Spring

I Love The Beauty In your Eyes.

I Love The Vision Of your Mind.

I Love The Power Of Your Faith.

I Love The Innocence Of Your Youth.

I Love The Scent Of Your Body.

I Love The Passion In Your Heart.

I Love The Integrity Of Your Spirit.

I Love The Pleasure Of Your Touch.

TOPIC TWO: I am developing a Business Plan for a (DELETED) STARTUP Company where I am the CEO. So I study (DELETED) & (DELETED) & (DELETED) & (DELETED) these days.

TOPIC THREE: I was in a startup previously ... cashed out three Million ... took a few years off and spent it ...

.... so you can imagine how I feel now ....

.... like a goofball who spent 3 Million Dollars

having fun and enjoying life.

What kind of way to spend your life is that ;)

Write Me.

Aaron

(Oh, Aaron. Though I do love a poem sent to me but written for another, I’m going to have to pass.)

Despite the evidence above, there are a few men who have managed to pass my difficult screening process. No dates yet, but stay tuned for more adventures…

* All messages above copied and pasted with no alterations to spelling or grammar. Names and identifying details have been changed, however.

Three Years Out

I remember this day so clearly. And the ones immediately following. 

I remember hearing that Carolyn's birthday celebration had been cancelled, and then hearing that it was because Rosalie was in the hospital. I remember going into the hospital on a Wednesday night - not just to volunteer as I usually did - but to visit my friends whose daughter had just been diagnosed with a brain tumor. Their lives changed forever with that diagnosis, and mine did too. No longer were the families I volunteered with strangers... there was now a family I knew and loved among them. 

I moved away from SF not long after Rosalie's diagnosis and surgery, but I see them every time I visit the Bay Area. And every time, I am amazed at the strength and determination of this incredible little girl and her equally incredible family members. I am touched by the closeness of Rosie and her sister. And I am inspired by the powerful love and encouragement of her parents. I feel honored to know them and to have shared in this journey even a little bit.

Sending much love to Rosie and her family on this anniversary. Keep up the good work, Rosie! We are all so very proud of you.

Anti-Tofu

Colorado DMV Nixes TOFU Vanity Plate Citing Obscenity Concern

By Ernest Luning 4/8/09

The Colorado Division of Motor Vehicles turned down a request from a vegan driver to display ILVTOFU on a set of personalized license plates because the phrase could be constructed as obscene, Tom McGee reports in the Denver Post. "We don't allow FU because some people could read that as street language for sex," Department of Revenue spokesman Mark Couch told the Post.

Turns out the state plate arbiters forbid hundreds of letter combinations deemed too controversial or offensive, including ARS, SIN and PIG. The department occasionally convenes a committee to add to the verboten list "so that plates stay free of letters that abbreviate gang slang, drug terms, or obscene phrases made popular in text messaging," McGee reports.

That was news to Kelly Coffman-Lee, the 36-year-old Centennial woman who simply wanted to promote her love of soybean curd while tooling around town in her Suzuki. "My whole family is vegan so tofu is like a staple for us," she told the Post. "I was just going to have a cool license plate and the DMV misinterpreted my message."

Whether or not the DMV did the misinterpreting - after all, who doesn't LV TOFU? - the civil servants say their mission is to keep the streets clean. "Standard common practices are: any combination of letters or numbers that carry connotations offensive to good taste and decency, are misleading, offensive to the general public, or represent gang, drug, sex, racial terms," another Department of Revenue spokesman, Maren Rubino, told the Rocky Mountain News last summer when the list grew to include common text message shorthand, such as LOL, OMG, and WTF.

The Department of Revenue oversees the DMV, which, it turns out, really does contract with the Department of Corrections to hire state prisoners to make the plates, the Rocky's Kevin Flynn reported. More than a quarter-million vanity plate combinations are kept off the road by the policy, which has been in place since the early 1990s.

Think you can think like the DMV when it comes to WTF vanity plate combos? Take a stab at this nifty license plate game still lingering on the Rocky's website.