Tuesday, May 26, 2009

The Good

Some people have suggested that I was harsh in my last post... that I may have been quick to judge people who may be good matches for me, but who just don't happen to have good spelling or grammar skills.

But here's the thing: the way I see it, an online dating profile is essentially a job application of sorts - and, like a resume, it is responsible for first impressions. If I meet a guy at a bar I can base my first impression on his personality and looks and "je ne sais quoi", but when I "meet" someone online all I have to base my first impression on is his profile. If a guy can't be bothered to write more than three sentences to describe himself or to spell-check (especially after reading in my profile that that's something I value in a potential match), then I'm going to assume that he isn't all that serious about dating, which means that he is not going to be a good match for me.

Think I've set the bar impossibly high? Wondering what a good online response look like? It looks like this:

I'd like to think that I'm pretty well edumacated and am not a terabul speler. I'm a bit of a grammar dork myself. Am prone to the occasional mishap of a poorly constructed sentence with a dangling participle. ;)

or this...

If your interest is piqued, by all means...give me a shout back. And I think you have every right to be a grammar nerd. If people can't write 'you' in a message...what is the world coming to??? 

or this...

I just had to comment on your well-organized and laid out profile. It is very rare to see that on dating sites. People can't seem to spell or write well. Don't worry...I won't call you a nerd. Anyway, you sound like an interesting person. Write back if you'd like.


Ok, so those three all happen to have the theme of embracing and/or appreciating my nerdiness. But I guess that's kind of what I want from a potential date - a guy who reads through my profile, likes my quirkiness, and then takes the time to write and tell me so. Those are the guys who get a response from me. 


Of course, there are still always going to be the weirdos...
I am a sensitive guy who can help you heal from any emotional wounds you experienced growing up as a child. This is what usually bonds a couple because the other person opens doors that imprisoned them psychologically.


The adventure continues...

8 comments:

craftosaurus said...

Expecting proper grammer is not overly harsh! Expecting guys to actually read what you've written (and -gasp- respond in a manner that *shows* that they've read your whole profile): not overly harsh!

Good luck to ya. Sifting is necessary; settling is not. :)

smukai said...

Who in the world suggested you were harsh given the expectations you set? I could launch into a full diatribe right now but I am just starting my day at work and don't want to start it on THAT foot. If you want to know what I really think...you know where to find me.

Grrrrrrr.

(U'r bg broth is flexing his muskles)

CDG said...

Last one is definitely the keeper there.

Stay strong in your edumacated self, Pheobe. ;)

Melissa said...

Ummmm... I have to agree with the above comments. Who wants pillow talk filled with grammatical errors? No, for real. It would drive me bonkers. Phoebs, you deserve the best and I'm not sure why you should have to settle for anyone under the bar (all puns intended).

Kari said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kari said...

This English teacher fully appreciates your quest for a linguistically inclined man, Phoebs. I understand your plight. I once dumped a guy because he couldn't spell oppurtunity. Seriously.

Search on, sistah! Perhaps you should date an English teacher?

jeff said...

Just be mindful during the screening process. You might come across a response like: "I would Die 4U. Tell me if U want me 2." If you're too quick to write that off, you could be missing out on a date with the artist currently known as Prince...

Nana said...

I like the first guy... he seems smart and witty! Have you set up a date with him yet??