Thursday Haiku

Fifty-eight degrees
(inside) Out? Forty-seven.
Hot tea in my hands.

I Remember

I slept in that day, because I had forgotten to set my alarm. Had I set it, I would have woken up to NPR coverage of the planes crashing into the World Trade Center (I was living in CO at the time, and was 2 hours behind the east coast). But instead I woke up, rolled over to see the time, panicked, and raced into the shower. When I got out of the shower and was walking back to my room to get dressed, I checked my cell phone and saw that I had missed multiple phone calls from my co-worker. I called her back as I picked out my outfit.

"What's up?" I asked casually.

"Have you turned on your TV today?"

"No - I forgot to set my alarm, and now I'm racing around trying to..."

"We're under attack."

"What? What do you mean?"

"The World Trade Center got hit by a plane... and then another plane... turn on your TV."

*pause*

"Oh my God."

"I talked with [Executive Director] and we agreed that we will all still work today. We have to decide if we still want to go through with our event on Friday."

"Wow... yes... of course."

"So come in when you can. There's a TV in the office downstairs so we can keep tabs on what's going on."


Standing there, watching in disbelief, I saw the South Tower fall. And just before I left for work, I saw the North Tower fall as well.

Ten years later as I see the video footage of that day, I am brought back to my basement apartment in Colorado. Standing in my towel, wet hair dripping on the carpet, watching an unfathomably horrible tragedy play out on my television screen.


Today I pray for peace for the victims and their families - on this anniversary and every day. I pray for the people of the United States of America, that this anniversary might remind us all of our interconnectedness - that we might all be encouraged to reach out to our fellow human beings, just as we did in the days following the attacks, rather than focusing on our differences.

I came across this today. It is a letter written by Ian Adelman to his friends and family the afternoon of September 11, 2001.

"On one hand, it is amazing to see people looking out for one another as everything appears to fall apart around them, but it is deeply saddening to think that it takes this kind of catastrophe to get people to overlook petty concerns and just be kind to those around them. The saddest thing is that while we'll all remember the physical event-- most of us won't be able to remember the way we felt. If only people could hang on to that feeling of common ground with nearby strangers that such a disaster instills. If we could somehow keep that in our emotional memory, we'd be better equipped to move forward--whether in the context of a local community, a nation, or a planet."


And because I am never one to miss an opportunity to reference The West Wing, here are some incredibly poignant words spoken by President Bartlet, regarding an attack on a college campus:

"We did not seek nor did we provoke an assault on our freedom and our way of life. We did not expect nor did we invite a confrontation with evil. Yet the true measure of a people's strength is how they rise to master that moment when it does arrive. 44 people were killed a couple of hours ago at Kennison State University. Three swimmers from the men's team were killed and two others are in critical condition. When, after having heard the explosion from their practice facility, they ran into the fire to help get people out. Ran *in* to the fire. The streets of heaven are too crowded with angels tonight. They're our students and our teachers and our parents and our friends. The streets of heaven are too crowded with angels, but every time we think we have measured our capacity to meet a challenge, we look up and we're reminded that that capacity may well be limitless. This is a time for American heroes. We will do what is hard. We will achieve what is great. This is a time for American heroes and we reach for the stars. God bless their memory, God bless you and God bless the United States of America. Thank you."


God bless the memory of all those lost on 9/11. And God bless the United States of America.

Cream of the Crop

Recent email received through online dating site:

You sound like a fun interesting girl , if your up for it lets chat sometime.. Notice i spelled you not u haha


*sigh*

I explicitly state in my profile that I prefer people to spell out "you" rather than typing "u".

Must I also explicitly state in my profile that potential suitors be able to correctly differentiate between your/you're and be able to use proper punctuation???

A Dating Post-Script

Yesterday, I got an email from a guy on one of the online dating sites I'm on (yes, I'm back on multiple sites - it's a desperate situation, people!):

Hi there!

I really liked the tone of your profile. You seem really upbeat and fun.

Care to exchange a few emails? I'd love to hear more about your work. Social work is often so overlooked and yet so critical.

Cheers,
N

Seemed like a nice enough guy, so I checked out his profile. But as I looked at his photos, I couldn't shake the feeling that I knew him from somewhere. I finally realized that he looked a lot like a guy I had been on a date with a while ago. But the photos weren't the same as the ones he had back then, so I couldn't be sure.

I responded:

Hey N -

You look familiar to me... is it possible we went on a date a few years ago?

-Fibby


To which he responded:

Hey Fibby,

Hmm, I must admit, I don't remember having met you before. At least not from what I've read in your profile... Remember anything else that might give me a clue?

N


At this point, I was fairly certain that this was none other than the Mer-girl Painting Guy. My loyal, long-term readers may remember this gem of a bad date story. It involved a date with a man who was in love with a painting of a mer-girl.

It took place in the spring of 2007 - four years ago now. But that kind of experience leaves an impression.

That said, I was raised to be polite. I didn't think it was appropriate to ask him if he was the guy who was in love with the mer-girl painting, as it would probably not feel good to be remembered that way. I racked my brain for something else unique about him that would confirm he was the same man:

It was so long ago, and so I'm not sure if I'm linking details and people correctly (and of course, if we never went out, then I wouldn't be linking anything correctly!). Did you ever cook Timpano a la Big Night?


He replied:

That's a pretty good memory! I did make the timpano long ago... I think I may be having a flashback to what might have happened. I think we met and had just one date.

Hmmm... is any of this coming back to you?

Not sure if you want to revisit this, but I'm game if you are!

Cheers,
N



Yes, it's true. Apparently I've dated everyone in Boston and my only option is to date them all again.


Except that's not an option here. I have to draw the line somewhere. And I think in this case, it's drawn at a second date with the man who loves mer-girl paintings.

First Quarter Updates

1. The landlord for the new apartment called today and told me that the apartment is mine if I want it. This is AWESOME on so many levels I can't even stand it. I will sign the lease in a week.

2. Thanks to my 2011 savings plan, this is the first time I've signed a lease and not had to borrow money from my parents for the deposit. I feel so grown up!

3. I already bought a couch. It looks like this and it pulls out into a really comfy bed. This means that guests can stay in a room that isn't mine when they come to visit. Yay!

4. Work is still crazy.

5. I get to see my parents again next weekend! Two weekends in one month - and both sightings in Boston. How lucky am I?

6. The Decemberists "This is Why We Fight" video hits the internet tomorrow. This makes me happy.

7. In the meantime, I've been obsessed with this song, ever since Seth and Emi sang it for me a few weeks ago. Of course, I prefer their father/daughter acoustic version, but until they record it as a single, the original will do.

8. I re-read this post, and am pleased to report to you that I have checked off all of my "other goals" - I got my LICSW, took a swing dance class, and miraculously overcame the sickness from hell that lasted for nearly the entire first quarter of 2011.


So there we are, mid-April in 2011.

2011: Making Things Happen

In the past 24 hours, I've browsed wistfully on craigslist wishing I could afford to live on my own, found an apartment listing for a 1br apartment that sounded promising (and affordable), emailed to set up an appointment to see the apartment, gone to see the apartment, fallen in love with the apartment, told the one roommate I like that I was moving, told my landlord I was moving, and completed and sent the application for the apartment.

All signs point to this move actually happening.

I will have MY OWN PLACE. With A WHOLE REFRIGERATOR TO MYSELF. Also? It's about 4 blocks from where I live now.

Also, it has a deck.

Some other day, I'll write about the collection of quirky 1br apartments I've lived in over the years. I am pleased to say this one continues the trend. It's not big, but it's got lots of character and it will be all mine.

What started out as a crummy week has turned into a rather good one.

And tomorrow, I'm going to the outlets to buy myself an overpriced purse.

Happier Things

I've been told perhaps I should post a few happy things on this neglected blog so as not to scare off the 6 readers I have left.

It's late tonight, so for now I'm going to post a list of things that are currently making me happy, and/or things to post more about later:

- This song makes me happy.

- I'm going to look at an apartment tomorrow in the middle of the day. This is an insane plan for multiple reasons (it requires that I drive to work so I have a car to get to the apartment, then park at home and grab a cab to return to work so that I don't have to drive home from work in the middle of Opening Day traffic). I have no idea if the apartment will be the right fit for me or not, but I'm tired of cursing my ever-shedding roommate every time I walk into the bathroom, and think I should explore other options in an effort to maintain my sanity. That said, if tomorrow's viewing doesn't go well, I won't be too disappointed. But if it feels right, it could be an exciting new step for me.

- Tomorrow is Opening Day! I'd be more excited if the Sox had demonstrated an ability to play the game of baseball so far this season, but I'm still excited and hopeful at the start of the home season.

- I get to see my parents tomorrow. In my city. That's always a treat (usually I have to trek north to see them). :-)

- I'm going swing dancing Saturday night. I've been taking a class. I should write about that sometime - it's been a fun experience.

- A really nice and happy thing happened at work last week. It's a follow-up to a previous post, and it makes me smile a lot to think about. I don't often get to share happy work stories on this blog (or I don't often choose to share them, I guess), so perhaps that will go up here too.


All for now. Hopefully some continued happy thoughts to follow...

Doubt Comes In

ORPHEUS & FATES
Doubt comes in
With tricky fingers
Doubt comes in
With fickle tongues
Doubt comes in and my heart falters
And forgets the songs it sung
Where are you? Where are you now?
- Anais Mitchell, Hadestown

When I never get past a first date with a guy and all my first dates are comically bad, it's easy to lose sight of the point of dating. My dating life becomes a source of entertainment for myself and others. That's how it's been for so long that it's become the norm.

When I get past a first date, I'm always cautious, because there's almost always a "but" - as in, "he's nice, but..." or "he's funny, but..." I try to keep an open mind, but I know myself well and I'm obnoxiously good at separating the wheat from the chaff.

Sometimes I make it to a third date, but it's rare.

Never a fourth.

I recently met a guy while out at an event. We made plans for a first date and that went well, so we made plans for a second... and then a third. Every date was a good one - we talked, we laughed, we shared bits and pieces of our life stories - and as time went on, bits of future talk crept into the conversation: "When you get your next statement in the mail, show it to me and I'll explain it to you," he said (when discussing what he does for work and me admitting I don't understand it). "Next time we go out, we'll have to go there," he said.

This was all new to me. I don't think about the future with guys I date for one of two reasons:

1. The guys aren't the type of people I could see myself with long-term.

or

2. They aren't talking about the future, and I don't want to jump the gun.

But this guy talked about the future. He made jokes and remembered things like what night I have class. He drove a practical car even though his income far exceeded mine. He liked to share food when out on a date. He had a million and one quirks that I found entirely endearing. He was thoughtful and funny, and he knew how to kiss.

And so a part of me that had been dormant for ages - a tiny flicker of hope - awoke inside me when I met this man and things between us seemed so easy and right. And I began to think about the possibility of a future with him... the possibility of not just a few dates, but an honest-to-goodness relationship. And I could picture it. I could really picture it.

It felt like it was actually going somewhere. And for the first time that I can remember, I stopped trying to talk myself out of or into a man, but just enjoyed being with him and slowly building the relationship.

It was during this process that I was reminded that dating is not just a source of bad date stories, but that if/when it works out, it's supposed to be a source of happiness and friendship. I haven't experienced that in so long that I had forgotten.

And then I remembered. I remembered what it felt like to feel excited about a guy, and to have a guy seem to be excited about me too. It was a new experience for me, and I was happy and optimistic about this quirky man who made me smile.


But then he wrote to me this morning to tell me that he met someone else a few weeks ago and wanted to "give it a shot" with her. He said he couldn't date two people at once, and that he hoped I would understand.


The funny thing is that my first reaction wasn't shock, or sadness or any emotion directed at him. It was anger at myself for letting my guard down. As though not imagining what it might be like to be in a relationship with him might have
somehow kept this from happening.

And so I responded to him with words that I truly believe, even though I hated that I had to write them to him. I told him that there need to be feelings on both sides in order for things to move forward and ultimately work out, so if one person isn't feeling it, it's probably not going to go far. And I told him I was bummed, but I wished him well.

And only then did I get sad. Rock-your-core, punched-in-the-gut sad. Because when I go on bad first dates, I am never reminded of what I'm missing. I'm reminded of how ridiculous dating can be. But with this man, I was reminded of what it feels like to connect with someone, and to enjoy being with him.

I was reminded of what I don't have.


In my everyday life, I make it a point not to feel sorry for myself. Though there have been times in my life when I've lamented my single status, those times are few and far between. I enjoy my independence, and I trust that I'll find a mate when I am meant to.

But just for this one day, I couldn't help but feel sad. Sad at the loss of something that on most days I don't even miss. But that today suddenly made me feel achingly alone.

And then the doubt comes in... is it me?

Am I too picky? Do I write off men too quickly?

Or did I do or say something that made this man write me off?

Was it the weird thing I said on the second date? Was it the fact that I insisted on paying for our third date? Was it that I wasn't in shape enough? Was it that I told him that I was good at my job? Did that make me sound too cocky?


I'll never know.

I just have to trust that for whatever reason, he was not my bus. And that things will all work out as they should, eventually. Because they always do.


EURYDICE
Orpheus
Hold on
Hold on tight
It won’t be long
’cause the darkest hour
Of the darkest night
Comes right before the dawn
- Anais Mitchell, Hadestown

Upside-Down Again

It was after the Super Bowl. I was sitting on my bed, watching Glee and reading status updates on Facebook when I decided to check my work email. I usually check work email on Sunday nights, just so I know what to expect when I come in on Monday.

I saw an email from our nurse manager with the title of “P’s Services”. I was distracted as I clicked on the email, turning my head to watch the Thriller/Heads Will Roll mashup and then glancing back to my laptop screen.

“As most of you have heard by now, P passed away unexpectedly this weekend,” was how the email began.

I quite literally gasped, as I realized that my friend and colleague P was dead.

*********

P started working as a nurse in my ICU years before I was born. About the time I was graduating from high school, P transitioned from the ICU to work in the new family resource center at the hospital. The Center provides housing for families from far away, parking assistance for inpatient families who can’t afford it, computers and internet so families can stay connected, and a library of books, movies, and games to keep patients and their families entertained during lengthy stays. They also help to coordinate a parent-to-parent support network, and run two annual events that the hospital hosts for bereaved families – events that P took the lead in coordinating.

I don’t remember the first time I met P. I think perhaps the person whose job I was taking over made a point of introducing us. “P used to work on our unit – she’s one of us. Go to her anytime you need anything – she’ll take care of you.” I was told.

Indeed. When I needed the go-ahead to reserve a room for a family that couldn’t make it home, P was there. When a family needed parking assistance and was only a few hundred dollars over-income from qualifying, P approved them so they wouldn’t have to go one day without the assistance they needed. I knew P had my back, and would often go to the Center to ask a favor. She’d see me coming and say, “You again! Uh oh – what do YOU want?!” with a twinkle in her eye, and I’d plead my case.

P had an incredible combination of compassion, enthusiasm, and determination that drew me (and many others) to her. She greeted everyone with a wave and a smile, and always made time to talk. Of all aspects of her job, the two annual bereavement events were the ones about which she was most passionate, and I was fortunate enough to serve on the planning committees for both events.

But it was our nightly check-ins that really grew our friendship. I’d leave work each night at 6:30, and P would work the front desk at the Center until 7. To leave the building after exiting my office, I had to walk by the Center. I’d look for P on my way out each night, and if she was there I’d drop in and chat for a while.

It was through these conversations that I learned more about P’s life outside of the hospital, and that she learned more about mine. She shared stories about her family and I told her stories about bad dates and the perils of single life. And when I was having a rough day, I’d go to her, She’d ask how I was doing, and I’d shrug and give her a look that said, “If I talk about how hard this work is right now, I’ll probably start crying”. And she’d give me a look back that would say, “I understand, and I’m here for you if you need anything.” And then she’d make me laugh with a story about families breaking the rules in the sleep space.

*********

It has been over twelve years since my world was turned upside-down when my friend Christine died suddenly. She was just a few days shy of 20 years old. One minute she was singing with us and laughing, and the next, she was gone.

I had forgotten what it felt like… this strange, surreal feeling as though I’m in a dream, but with regular horrible, gut-wrenching realizations that I am not. That a person I have loved and cared about is suddenly and unexpectedly gone, and I am left going through the motions and trying to make sense of a life ended too soon.

I deal with death on a regular basis at work, but P’s passing has hit me hard. In an ICU, I feel prepared for death. I know that it is part of what happens in such a critical setting, and that it is my job to support the families and help prepare them for that which they can never truly be prepared. The larger hospital setting outside the ICU is my safe zone. It’s where I go to escape the intensity of the ICU. The Center was my safe zone. P was my safe zone.

Once again, I find my world turned upside-down. The Center is where I have always gone to take a break from the intensity of my work. Now it is a reminder of a dear friend who is gone and a trigger for the deep pain of a sudden and unexpected loss.

My heart breaks for P’s daughter who is my age, her husband who is not much younger than my father, her parents who have already grieved the loss of another child, and her co-workers in the Center who must be reminded every day of her absence by an empty chair at a desk full of task lists not yet completed.

My heart breaks for all of those people, and it also breaks for me. P was my colleague, my mentor, and my friend. Last week, we laughed and swapped stories of our experiences working in the ICU. Tonight I left my office at 6:30 as usual, and passed the Center on my way out. I willed myself not to turn my head, not to expect to see P smiling and waving me in to talk. But my brain still can’t believe she’s gone, and so I glanced in. And then I turned away as tears pricked my eyes and a lump rose in my throat.

I miss her so much already.

Colleagues from the NICU and the Center wrote some words about P that were shared with the hospital staff today when her passing was publicly announced:

Today we grieve the loss of our dear friend and colleague. P was loved by all who knew her. She extended her warmth, knowledge, caring and support to patients, families, staff and all who were blessed to know her.

P had a long list of admirable attributes. She was the "core" of the hospital; thoughtful, kind, compassionate, and endearing. She was a mentor to all who worked with her regardless of age, position, and experience. She was never easily flustered, and intimately understood the depth and chaos of working with families in crisis. She had a refreshing sense of humor, including the ability to laugh at herself. Her humility balanced with invaluable wisdom made her an innate mentor for colleagues at all levels who would frequently seek out her advice, support and her tidbits of invaluable guidance. Caring for others sustained P and we've all had the privilege of benefiting from her warmth and love.

Each one of us has our unique memories of P and our individual beliefs about where she may be now, looking out upon us. The one thing we're certain of is that she would embrace us and tell us not to worry for her. Her stressors are now a thing of the past. She would definitely want us to carry on in our work in caring for each other and the patients and families whom we serve. That is something that we all must do, in honor of our dearly loved and respected colleague.


P, I miss you so much already. None of this makes sense to me, but I trust that somehow this is what was supposed to happen, even if I may never know why. Thank you for your support, guidance, humor, and caring over the past 2 1/2 years. There is no doubt in my mind that I am a better person for having known you. Rest in peace, my friend.

Complications

I'm going on vacation this weekend. Taking 5 days and heading south to New Orleans where I've never been to meet up with good friends from college and their friends. I'm using a free flight that had to be used before February 2nd, and staying at someone's house, so I'm hoping the budget part of the trip is relatively manageable.

I remember thinking when I booked the trip, "I will have just taken time off from work for Christmas - it seems kind of silly to take more time so soon."

As it turns out, this trip could not be planned for a better time.

Work has been tough these past few weeks. A family I became very close with had to make difficult end-of-life decisions for a family member they loved so dearly. I attended the funeral for that person yesterday, and then returned to work to have a very difficult conversation about DNR status with another family. I went home exhausted and hoping for better today.

Alas, that was not to be. I had thought I was mentally prepared for what today would bring, but I forgot about the x-factor. The fact that one never knows what patients will be admitted overnight, how very sick they can be, and how complicated their family dynamics can be.

As the social worker, fixing and/or managing the sickness never falls to me. But managing and putting band-aids on broken, messy, and/or complicated family dynamics is most definitely in my job description.

Throw in my more typical (but still required, even on crazy days) tasks of introducing myself to new families and orienting them to the unit and the hospital, and my day went from predictably bad to unpredictably miserable. I didn't leave until 8:30pm.

I feel like this always happens when I'm working a short week and gearing up for a vacation. All the chaos that might have been spread over 5 days somehow knows to squeeze itself into 3. On one hand, I'm glad I'm dealing with it all, as I always hate to leave a mess for my coworker who covers for me when I'm out. On the other hand, I'm exhausted, and unsure how I'll rally to make it to work tomorrow... especially given that I'll be walking to work in a snow storm.

It's as though every ounce of my energy must be drained before being able to go on vacation to replenish it.

I don't even have the energy to pack.

And yet...

I still wouldn't trade this job for any other in the world.

Week 2: Start-up Baking Costs A Lot

I will be traveling for a long weekend starting later this week, so I had a shorter week to cook for. I decided to make my friend MK's "Thai-ish salad" that involves chicken, lots of veggies, and egg noodles. I made enough for an army and have been happily eating it this week.

I also had the inspiration from one of my Cooking Light magazines to try a new banana bread recipe. Usually banana bread is one the easiest (and probably cheapest) things you can make. HOWEVER, if you have none of the baking staples (sugar, flour, spices, etc.) it can get a lot more expensive.

Because I had very few baking ingredients in my stash, I had to purchase them, which meant over-spending what I would have liked my food allotment to be for the week. So as it turns out, I spent nearly $20 on the baking supplies needed for banana bread - a rather expensive loaf, I'll admit, but now I've got all the supplies to make it again and again and again... and those loaves will not set me back nearly so much in my budgeting.

So my total (food and toilet paper) spending for this week was $71.32, but if you take out the baking supplies and tp (since that's a cost split among roommates), it's back down closer to last week's food budget at about $44.61.

I've set a budget for my trip, but my plan is to try to spend less than I've budgeted. I'll report back on the flip side...

Week 1 Tracking - Final

$37 for groceries to feed me for the week*
$4 for a lightbulb because my room was too dark with just a bedside lamp.
$7 for lunch at work on Friday
$10 to grab my traditional Dorado Taco dinner on my way home from work on Friday
$5 to rent a movie on-demand last night (studying up for my 2nd Annual Oscar Party)

$63 total for the week

*It should be said that $25 of my grocery bill came from a gift card. So really I only spent $38 of my weekly funds in cash.

I also purchased a few items from the drug store (drugs, namely, to help clear my sinuses). I used my 2010 flexible spending account debit card, which still had some funds left and which apparently has not been updated with the 2011 limitations regarding what I can purchase through an FSA account. Huzzah!


Next week, I imagine things will be a little tricky, as I'm traveling on vacation to New Orleans (!!!) for 5 days next weekend. The flight was free, and the accommodations are free, so it should still be a relatively budget-friendly trip. My plan is still to give myself a budget and see how I do, but not beat myself up too much if I end up having to be a little bit flexible. This budgeting stuff is a work in progress, and much easier when I'm in my home routine than when I'm traveling. No doubt I'll have some reflections on everything when I've returned from vacation.

Week 1: Fund Tracking

Today I grocery shopped for the week (and then some).

Total grocery bill was about $37

I used a Trader Joe's gift card worth $25, but still think I should probably pretend I paid cash, and leave myself with $63 remaining for the week. I'm hoping all the cooking I did today two recipes from Real Simple:

Chicken and Broccoli Rabe with Apricots

and

Turkey and Bean Chili
(and Trader Joe's corn bread)


and then a recipe I found online and doctored a bit that uses sweet potatoes and apples (almost dessert-like it's so yummy!)

Apple Sweet Potato Bake Recipe


The only thing I grabbed at the grocery store that was not on my list was gelato. It was on sale for a whole dollar off, and a few spoonfuls of it are all I require to feel like I met my requirement for dessert. I most highly recommend the Key Lime Graham which is OMG so good.


All for now. I'll likely just update this post with more spending if I have it so as not to over-post.

2011: The Year Ahead

Last year, I reflected on the previous year before posting my goals for the new year. This year, I'm just jumping right in:

- The biggest goal for 2011 is savings and money management. I had a more vague goal last year, but feel the need to make it more concrete this year. I am now 32 years old, and think that it's probably time to either own a car that isn't nearly half my age, or live in a place that I can call my own. I'm not quite clear yet whether the second goal means I would live alone again, or whether I'd try to purchase a home, but either way, I've got some saving and planning to do.

Because I'm a stickler for rules, I've started the new year with a tight budget. $100 per week is what I get to spend on myself - that includes food, entertainment, and gas. I will get $100 in cash at the beginning of the week, and work hard to have some left over at the end of the week. If I have funds left over, I can either roll them into the next week, or put them aside to save towards something fun.

- A byproduct goal from above is cooking/preparing foods more and eating out less. I got off to a roaring start today when I made turkey chili, chicken and broccoli rabe, and a sweet potato/apple dish. Some is in the fridge, some is in the freezer. I can bring one to work for lunch and have the other waiting for me when I get home. (note to self for next time: broccoli rabe is a little pricey) I'm hoping to explore some of the recipes from last year's Cooking Light subscription.

- Organization is another goal for 2011. Sure, cleaning the study would still be great, but I'd also like to stay on top of having a clean room, and not have months-expired yogurt sitting on my shelf in the fridge. Organization at work would be good too. I'd love to not scare my new office mate who will begin in February with the endless piles of papers and post-its that cover my desk.

- I think I'm still working on my last goal of 2010 - specifically the piece about giving more to the people in my life who bring me joy. I used to be the kind of person who sent out Christmas cards to everyone I knew. Not just a card, but a card with a real message inside - more than one sentence, written in my own handwriting. I'm not sure why that's fallen off over the past few years, but I would certainly like to become that person again. Holiday cards, birthday cards... I believe in the power of snail mail, and want to do my part to give people something other than a bill to open at the end of the day.



Other goals include getting my LICSW, taking lindy-hop lessons, and getting over the sickness that I've had for the past month (seriously - couldn't that have been left behind in 2010!?).

Updates on all goals will be posted as they come...