One of Those Weeks

I can't remember the last time I had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week. It's been a while. So I guess I was due? 

Monday brought a cryptic email from my supervisor telling me that she needed to meet with me regarding a "patient relations issue". It turned out to be nothing bad, but I spent the entire day with a knot in my stomach trying to figure out what I might have done wrong and/or what family might have had a complaint about my work. Not a great way to start the week.

Tuesday I was paged before I even got into work about a family situation that had escalated to a near crisis point. By the time I arrived at work (10 minutes early, thankyouverymuch), the family had already left, but there was much de-briefing to do about how this matter was handled and how to prevent a similar situation in the future. And though absolutely no one blamed me for what had taken place, I felt awful that I hadn't been there to help during an incredibly difficult situation. 

Wednesday, I started getting sick. The "oh no, my throat hurts and I know what that means" kind of sick where you know no matter how much zinc/vitamin c/echinacea you take, it's still going to get you.

Thursday I stayed home sick from work. I also received an unexpected email that has left me feeling unsettled and grumpy for the past 24 hours.

And today I realized mid-day that the grant proposal I have been working on that is due March 2nd is due on MONDAY because February is a short month. I also realized when I went to pay my credit card bill at 8pm tonight that it wouldn't get posted until March 2. It's due the 1st. And when I called the company to ask if there was anything I could do, and they said, "yes, go to this website and you can pay it until 11:59pm tonight and it will still post today", I then realized that the credit card with the number I would need to be able to pay it online, was on my desk at work.

So it's been that kind of week. A terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week.

But there have been glimmers of goodness in the week too: one of my favorite kiddos coming back to our unit for a few days, getting to hold that same kiddo's twin brother while he smiled at me with all his might, caring comments from friends when they found out I was sick, free lunch today (there IS such thing as a free lunch, people, there IS!), and an honest-to-goodness, rock-solid GOOD first date. Yes, you read that correctly. In the midst of my hellish week, I went on a date, and that date was good. 

To Bling or Not To Bling

Yesterday I got the official offer for my new job, which included a start date (September 22) and a salary. The salary isn't huge but it's definitely decent by social work standards, and anything is going to feel like a lot after having no income for the past two years.

Today I had to run some errands that required that I go to a mall where there is both a Gap outlet and an Ann Taylor outlet. Naturally, I had to stop into both and see what kind of deals they had for some new work clothes. Though I don't have the income to purchase a lot of new clothes now, I definitely felt that I could justify a few new things - especially a new "first day of work" outfit (thank you, H, for putting that idea into my head!).

Sitting around tonight watching the Sox game, I found myself online browsing jewelry on craigslist (I accidentally clicked on the "craigslist" tab and then decided I should click on something I had never clicked on before, which is how I got to "jewelry"). Most of the pieces listed were entirely forgettable. But this one caught my eye:

It wasn't the gold band that did it for me (I'm more of a white-gold/platinum gal myself), but the setting. It's interesting. It's different. And according to the post, the diamonds were hand-cut by the seller's grandfather in Kentucky. That's pretty cool. 

However, despite using the change in my employment status to justify my clothing shopping spree earlier in the day, I did not use that same logic on the ring. I determined that only if my salary were 3-4x larger could I justify purchasing celebratory bling, and so the ring remains online. My two pairs of new pants and three new tops, on the other hand, are hanging happily in my closet.

Two Things

1. Cakewrecks is my new favorite blog.

2. When I return from my 10-day end-of-summer vacation, I will have a job waiting for me. Today my bus choice became clear, and I have no question that this is the path I am supposed to be on right now in my life. I am giddy with excitement about this opportunity, and I promise more details later, but right now I'm headed out west to celebrate.

Interview Update

Both interviews went well yesterday, and I have a 2nd interview with hospice today during C's nap (his mom will be home - don't worry - I'm not leaving a 2-year-old home alone napping while I go out to a job interview!). I am hopeful that I will also get a 2nd interview at the hospital job, which is definitely my first choice. 

The very wise, never-updates-his-blog-but-he's-still-a-good-person Burger said he hopes that I might have my choice of busses, and I like that image.

Thank you all for the well-wishes from across the country and across the globe. It is nice to walk into an interview feeling so supported.

Stay tuned...

Hmmm.

I'm not sure what kind of sign it is that when I left my interview this morning at a hospice organization I got stuck in traffic waiting for a funeral procession to pass...

Bits and Pieces

1. Two job interviews tomorrow (2 different jobs). Both are jobs I'm qualified for and that I'd love to have, so please send happy, non-tongue-tied-interview-answer thoughts my way at 10:30am EST and 4pm EST. Thankyouverymuch.

2. Anyone have any hints for straightening out a strand of pearls? I want to wear them for the wedding I'm in next month, but they look like they've been stuffed in a box (they have). I'm hanging them on a hook right now, hoping that gravity can help, but seeing as pearls aren't all that heavy, the hanging doesn't seem to be making much of a difference.

3. I'm reading again! Finished Dan Brown's Deception Point a few weeks ago, and am now reading Eats, Shoots and Leaves and Freakonomics.  Any and all recommendations welcome.

Still Waiting for that Bus...

No luck on the job front, so the hunt continues... This weekend will be spent researching and applying for jobs, as well as studying for my licensing exam. 

Not much else to report, so I'll leave you all with a question:

At what point in a relationship with a new person should one share one's blog? Assume that as the relationship develops, it is a close and trusting one. Follow-up question: Is the answer different if it a romantic relationship vs. a platonic one? 

The "Big Dig" Nears Completion

Though I could pretend that the reason I haven't been updating this blog is because I've been so focused on my "Big Dig" project, the real reason is that I've been traveling and working so much that I'm rarely in front of my computer enough to check email, much less write about my adventures.

A few quick updates:

1. No word on the job yet, but they have told me they're hoping to make a decision early this coming week. I have also applied to a few other jobs, so I'm not just waiting around for this one (but still, keep your fingers crossed).

2. After 3 looooong weeks, C is back in my life. I had no idea how much our Thursdays together meant to me until he was gone on vacation. I have been with this kiddo every week for nearly a year now, and we were both absolutely giddy to see each other on Thursday after so much time apart. I didn't stop smiling all day. 

3. The "Big Dig" is nearing completion, after multiple phases of progress:

Phase I (June 2008): Fibby sorts through all of her clothing and shoes, putting some aside to donate and saving others.

Phase II (7/11-7/12): Bed and air conditioner are moved with the help of LTB members. All other furniture moved by Fibby.

Phase III (7/17-7/21): Fibby goes on vacation to Maine. Just before going on vacation, she realizes that her new roommate (the one who is moving into Fibby's old room) is arriving on the 22nd).

Phase IV (7/21): Fibby arrives back in Boston at 1pm and throws all items from the floor of her old room to the floor of her new room. Fibby and Roommate (not the new one) spend the next 7 hours steam cleaning carpets in 3 rooms and 2 staircases. One of these rooms is Fibby's study, which means that the explosion of books, papers, and junk that has been accumulating for the past 6-12 months must be picked up off the floor. All of the above-mentioned items are re-located to the dining room floor until the rug in the study dries.

Phase V (7/26): Fibby follows her self-imposed rule and sorts through every box and bag and envelope on her floor, rather than just shoving it all under the bed. This takes all day. And night. Much trash and recycling is accumulated. Dusting takes place.

Phase VI (7/27): Fibby moves the "Big Dig" to the study, where another day is spent sorting, storing, and throwing away. Clutter is transformed into order with the help of storage bins and tupperware containers. Much trash and recycling is accumulated. Serious dusting takes place. Sneezing takes place.

No photos yet, because I am waiting until I put things on the walls, but let me tell you that this is the best gift to myself I think I've ever had. 

     Total number of trash bags full of donated clothes & shoes: 3

     Total number of trash bags filled: 4.5

     Total number of trash cans filled: 2

     Total number of boxes filled with paper to be recycled: 3

This post is dedicated to two of my former SF roommates, whose ability to sort and purge inspired me throughout this adventure.

Considerations

So I have now had two job interviews for the position I blogged about last week. This job is at an organization about whose mission I am extremely passionate. It would allow me to provide support to grieving family members and would also give me the opportunity to create my own projects based on my interests. The benefits are great, and the team I would work for seems wonderful.

A drawback to this position is that all of the support that I would be providing would be over the phone. It is also a position that does not require a masters degree, and therefore as much as it would be challenging on some levels (especially if I could create my own projects), it might not be challenging enough or different enough from past jobs and experiences for me to feel like it is an upward step rather than a sideways step professionally.

I keep going over and over this in my head, and I can't tell if I'm trying to talk myself out of the position or into it. The truth is that I was really excited about this position when I saw it posted online. In fact, was the first position I had seen that got me excited since not getting the fellowship. My excitement decreased a bit after my initial phone screening interview when I was told that the position was all phone support, but I still wanted to interview. Since then, I have found an equal number of positive aspects to the job (great supervisor and coworkers, mission about which I'm passionate, interesting job, starts at the right time, good benefits) and negative (lack of other MSWs means lack of on-site social work support and potentially lack of supervision, all phone support means no face-to-face interactions, perhaps not making the most of my new degree) and am just not sure what to do if I get offered the job.

In speaking with a friend last night, she reminded me that if it doesn't feel right, then it probably isn't right and that I need to trust my gut. But my gut seems to be rather confused about how it's feeling, so what do I do? Do I take this job, knowing it's in a field I'm excited about and doing work with a population I'd like to be working with, even though the work isn't exactly the kind of work I want to be doing? Do I pass it up, and then hope that there's a better fit in the future, knowing that there's a good chance that I might end up working further outside my field of interest due to lack of job opportunities doing what I want to do? Is there even a

Bargaining Power

I'm not very good at bargaining. In fact, I'd say for the most part I avoid it when possible. I never try to bargain while shopping, and have recently told a friend that he's going to have to buy my next car for me because he's so good at it, and I'm just not. Historically, I have never tried all that hard to negotiate a higher salary. In some situations, it had to do with not feeling confident enough in my skills to feel I was worth more, and in some situations, it had to do with not wanting to hear someone say "no" and feel they were refusing my value as a human being, rather than my work value.  

Today I had my first job interview since the slew of fellowship interviews I had in April/May. I found the job posting online last week and it was the first posting I had seen since starting to look that I actually got excited about. So I updated my resume and cover letter (hadn't written a cover letter since 2002!) and sent it in.

A week later, I found myself squeezing in an interview between two babysitting gigs (thank goodness the woman's schedule was relatively open). As the last time I had applied for a job (a "real" job, anyway) was in 2002, I realized just before walking in that this is the first interview I've had where I've been totally confident in my skills to do the job. It made me much more confident and willing to say things that I would not have said 6 years ago.

For example, after the woman told me more about the job (including the fact that none of the other employees with the same position have masters degrees), she looked at my salary requirements. 

"Oh," she said, "I see you've put down X for a salary requirement. Did Sue tell you that the salary is actually a bit lower than that?"

"Yes," said I, "I am wondering, though, if the salary that you are offering is factoring in my MSW?"

So of course the salary wasn't factoring in my degree, and the woman tried to point out that an MSW was not a requirement for this position. She then tried to argue that I didn't have any experience as an MSW, and I countered that my two years of internships were absolutely MSW experience. 

I didn't make a big stink about the salary or my experience, but I did stand up for myself in a matter-of-fact, I-know-what-I'm-worth kind of way (well, as much as a social worker can do that - of course we're (almost) all worth way more than we'll ever get paid).

I left feeling good about the interview, and confident in my professional skills and abilities in a way I haven't felt in a long time. 

Graduate school tuition: $49K

Confidence in your professional knowledge, skills and practice: Priceless

Do you want to make more money? Sure! We all do!

So I got a job today.

Well, not exactly.

But I got authorized to work up to 32 hours/week at the hospital through May.

Pretty much, it means I do the same work I've been doing all year at my internship, only it's on another unit and now I get paid for it.

So the story is that they hired someone to work on this new unit, but she can't start until June 1st. Right now, there is one woman covering the floor, but she is entirely overworked with her own units, and so it's all a bit chaotic. Anyway, since I have been doing similar work all year, and since I have nothing else to be doing (what with school being over in a week!!!), they offered me this very temporary position. Yay!

Income is good.

Also, I interviewed today for a sort-of full-time position coming up in the hospital (complicated explaination as to why it's not definitely full-time). The position itself is exactly what I want to be doing, but after learning more about it, I'm convinced that the fellowship is definitely still my first choice.

Word on the street is that they're aiming to make a decision about the fellowship within the next week or two (I'm thinking it will be closer to two), so with any luck, I'll have some news on that right around the time I graduate.

As always, stay tuned...

Why I Love My Job

Part I:
Last fall, I met with a family whose newborn son had been born with some serious health complications. Eventually it was determined that he had a very rare disease that would be life-limiting. The family was devestated, but also optimistic, and through their faith and strength, they faced the uncertain future of their baby with a sense of determination and also peace.

During their stay, I would often go check in on whichever parent was around, just to give them the opportunity for adult conversation. We'd talk about their children and family and friends and life in general, and they'd ask me about school and my life as well. As an intern, I was aware of the fine line between sharing too much about my personal life with this family, and at the same time, I knew that what they needed at that point was conversation that didn't revolve around their son's health issues, and so I shared with them little stories about school and such.

This family has returned to the hospital for outpatient visits since their original stay, but my schedule hasn't allowed me to drop in and say hi.

Yesterday I managed to catch them, and when the mother saw me her face lit up. We talked and caught up. She told me that though her son wasn't doing any better, they had managed to take a trip to her native country so that her family could meet him. She still had the same positive attitude and peaceful demeanor that I remembered. And most surprisingly, she remembered things about my life that I had shared in our conversations so long ago. She asked about school and my plans for the future, and pulled out details that even I had forgotten I had shared.

It was incredible to re-connect with this mother, and to know that I was as memorable to her as she was to me. I left work with a smile on my face.

Part II:
Today I was riding an elevator with a patient, her younger brother, and their mother. The younger brother was jumping out of his skin with excitement, and when I commented that it looked as though they were going on an adventure, he said, "We're going to see firemen!" All of the family members looked so excited to be getting out of their hospital rooms and going to a hospital event.

I followed them to the event and hung out in the back for a while. It turned out to be a policeman and not a fireman who was there, but the little boy didn't seem to mind.

It was a nice break to my day, and I continued on my way.

As it happens it was a rather slow day today, and so later on I was walking up the stairs and saw a sign - hand-made by someone who I am guessing is about 10 - advertising a magic show.

So I stopped to watch.

If any of you ever need to have your day improved significantly, I highly recommend watching a children's magic show. Not for the magic, but for the reactions of the kids.

There was laughter, there was shouting, there was one kid who just kept exclaiming excitedly "No way!" every time the magician performed a trick.

I couldn't stop grinning. And I still can't.

All the difficult days I've had here were erased with the sights and sounds of a room full of sick kids and their parents being given the opportunity to forget their illnesses for a few minutes and just be kids.

I love this place.